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Thursday, June 26, 2003

Wow, new blogging system. I wonder how or if it will affect the actual blog...or my archives.. lets hope things improve.
So I keep recieving phone calls telling me how much I am loved.
Shame I am always alone.

Monday, June 23, 2003

So Xes dad's in Glastonbury. By his return it will be three weeks since we've seen each other.
night after night it's just big old pregnant me.
I'm unsure even if we made it up before he went. Well we certainly didn't get to kiss and make up.

Then he calls from Glasto saying how much he's missing me.
Its so hard with him.
and its so very hard to do this baby making thing alone.
I was looking at cots in mothercare today, and have to leave the shop because I suddenly felt incredibly nauseous.

Spent Solstice with Vitimin 2k and Houdini, and they were real nice to me, proper friends.

Friday, June 20, 2003

TWENTY SEVEN WEEKS PREGNANT.

This week started with a tuesday morning argument.
Then my midwife rang to tell me that levels of iron stored in my blood are still not sufficiant and I must visit the paediatric consultant at hospital, but denied knowledge as to what the treatment or implications are.
Spoke to the council Wednesday, who told me I had no chance at all of moving ever, despite the 42 steps I have to climb to access my front door. I have no hope.
I asked them to put this in writing.
I've been sick several times and am suffering bouts of burning diarrhoea from the iron supplements I am forced to take.
I am perminantly exhausted.
Yesterday recieved a �149 phone bill.

So last night Xes dad phones to see if I'm 'alright' and my mistake was not to say yes.
I get told that I am a shit head. I have driven him away. He no longer likes me and I can go FUCK myself.

Friday, June 13, 2003

Find myself listening to music again.!!!!!
Something's lifted.
Hope it lasts. Maybe me and Xes' dad worked something out last weekend...


I need to dance.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Hello, I'm here again, just briefly.
I cannot seem to connect with my machine right now.
I am regressing.
It is almost as if the last decade never happened.
I am emotionally stilted. stuck, right now.
I have been being sick a lot too.

I am becoming increasingly isolated.
Vitamin2k took me to ikea yesteday, which was happy diversion from my depressive state.

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Some how I just lost all of todays post.
And it happened the last fucking time.
And I was just trying to work out what makes me so dull and humourless in cyberspace.
Perhaps its the machine itself.

Monday, June 02, 2003


Suddenly realised one way of solving this archive problem would be, to abandon this blog completely and start a new. If I was lucky, I might get working archive, if not, then I'd know for sure Blogger was either a pile of crap stealing all my thoughts, or that if i wanted to continue, I have to go deeper, which I know I do anyway, but could of done without the archive set back.
STYLE CONTENT MEANING
a good blog should have all I think.
In a thread about blogging on Urban75, Dubversion makes thae point that he's never read a blog that didn't bore the pants off him, point taken, but I have read a couple that interested me, Dubversion says he blogs because, 'your nobody in this town unless you have one...'
I wasn't aware of this.
I've not managed to speak to a single person outside cyberspace that knew wtf I was talking about.
So I'm very excited to hear this news.

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