Friday, March 28, 2003
So, I've worked out the thing to do is keep my mouth shut. Not something that comes naturally, but where has complaining ever got me before?
This is my new mantra: SAY NOTHING.
Just accept whatever crumbs of comfort that are thrown at me gratefully, and DO NOT ASK FOR MORE.
After all, I must learn to be completely autonomous. To provide myself with everything | need. Only this way will I find peace. I must give up all ideas of love and support, because it just drives me mad, literally, when they are not forthcoming.
Happiness must come from within.
It's just so hard.
There's this nice poster on Urban75, who yesterday recommended that in order to start sorting out the inside, I must first do some work on the outside. She suggested making a special space for me within my flat. Well as I havent even decorated my own room, I guess I should do that.
Although this morning I did some preparotory work on the bathroom.
God I feel fucked-up.
This is my new mantra: SAY NOTHING.
Just accept whatever crumbs of comfort that are thrown at me gratefully, and DO NOT ASK FOR MORE.
After all, I must learn to be completely autonomous. To provide myself with everything | need. Only this way will I find peace. I must give up all ideas of love and support, because it just drives me mad, literally, when they are not forthcoming.
Happiness must come from within.
It's just so hard.
There's this nice poster on Urban75, who yesterday recommended that in order to start sorting out the inside, I must first do some work on the outside. She suggested making a special space for me within my flat. Well as I havent even decorated my own room, I guess I should do that.
Although this morning I did some preparotory work on the bathroom.
God I feel fucked-up.
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