Sunday, March 23, 2003
Terrible scene yesterday morning. Agruments, me feeling totally taken for granted, and under appreciated. Xes' dad unmovable.
Entire day ruined really.
Beautiful spring days and once again I yearn for an outdoor space. People try and tell me it's just the same going to the park, but oh how I desperately desire a private outdoor space. To sit in my dressing gown sipping tea, reading the paper, with the fresh air on my face and no loons, drunks footballs or dogs/shit to bother me.
Its awful to want what you cannot have.
I didn't demonstrate yesterday, well I was ill for a week after the last one, and ...well theres no real excuse, I felt like shit. Cried all day long.
Houdini and I went to the Urbanite party later, and I stayed up till 3am!!! Like it's been so long. I'm paying for it now though, my bones feel stiff and I have zero energy. It was good to talk about my situation, but...nothing is solved.
Last night I dreamt I started injecting heroin. I did it twice. Once into each arm, and I woke feeling utterly disturbed. I can only assume this is down to the two or three Marlborough lite I smoked last night. Disgusting, totally disgusting.
Entire day ruined really.
Beautiful spring days and once again I yearn for an outdoor space. People try and tell me it's just the same going to the park, but oh how I desperately desire a private outdoor space. To sit in my dressing gown sipping tea, reading the paper, with the fresh air on my face and no loons, drunks footballs or dogs/shit to bother me.
Its awful to want what you cannot have.
I didn't demonstrate yesterday, well I was ill for a week after the last one, and ...well theres no real excuse, I felt like shit. Cried all day long.
Houdini and I went to the Urbanite party later, and I stayed up till 3am!!! Like it's been so long. I'm paying for it now though, my bones feel stiff and I have zero energy. It was good to talk about my situation, but...nothing is solved.
Last night I dreamt I started injecting heroin. I did it twice. Once into each arm, and I woke feeling utterly disturbed. I can only assume this is down to the two or three Marlborough lite I smoked last night. Disgusting, totally disgusting.
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