Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Well, should anyone be missing me turning up on the page, hello, here I am again. Had some problems logging in recently and also been quite busy sewing a banner/curtain for Antenna studios, which is Vitamin2Ks' brothers studio. Of course its for free, I've even found all the materials in my cupboard, so its just a gift to them. a gift for the future, and maybe, just maybe someone somewhere will commission one one day. Feel pessimistic about that though, yet I'm so good at making them, it comes so easy to me, giant scale-up sewn pieces. It's like its my only skill and there's hardly any use for it.
Obviously this means I have yet again temporarily shelved plans for home decoration. I think I'd rather do almost anything than paint my ceiling.
Just got very upset on the phone to Xes' dad, he is 'giving' me the camper van we bought together, because the tax is due and he doesn't want to keep it outside his house any more, even though he knows it is doomed outside my house, he is insistant. In fact he even started shouting at me down the phone when I said that I had enough responsibilties.
After the call, I cried and cried and couldn't even work out why, other than the van was something we'd taken on together and he was absolving himself from it, and now am free to go away on my own as much as possible. I never wanted to go away alone though, I thought it was something we'd do together. I honestly think we have no future together, particularly the way he shouts at me when I dont agree to with him immediately. I dont know anything anymore. Despair is always around the corner.
Obviously this means I have yet again temporarily shelved plans for home decoration. I think I'd rather do almost anything than paint my ceiling.
Just got very upset on the phone to Xes' dad, he is 'giving' me the camper van we bought together, because the tax is due and he doesn't want to keep it outside his house any more, even though he knows it is doomed outside my house, he is insistant. In fact he even started shouting at me down the phone when I said that I had enough responsibilties.
After the call, I cried and cried and couldn't even work out why, other than the van was something we'd taken on together and he was absolving himself from it, and now am free to go away on my own as much as possible. I never wanted to go away alone though, I thought it was something we'd do together. I honestly think we have no future together, particularly the way he shouts at me when I dont agree to with him immediately. I dont know anything anymore. Despair is always around the corner.
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