Monday, May 31, 2004
After I posted last night, I became very unhappy and began to try and talk to Xes dad about some, well one really, fundamentally wrong thing in our relationship.
Of course this wasn't possible, things got bad very quickly, and he stormed off, leaving me alone once again.
It had ben so stressful staying in Cheltnam, I'd had to look after Xes in an unfamilier place, it was hard work. I'd stayed with Xwife whilst he was at the hosptital all evening. He'd decided to go on the piss on the way home and come home drunk at 1am. Then it was a restless, sleepless night, and it was naturally me who had to get up with Xes at 7am, and try and keep him amused in the strange house, and wait and wait for Him to get up. And later at the hospital, I was sitting in the ward with Xwife and their son and He goes out to the van for some painkillers, but just doesn't return.
Eventually, I go to see what has happened, and he is sleeping in the van. Sleeping whilst Im caring for Xes in a hospital with his first family. I feel like I am being played for a fool.
Then the truely dreadful, torturous journey home, and now is a sunny bank holiday Monday and I am alone. Again. He switches his phone off, for another undisturbed nights sleep.
I'm so confused by this. Should I just call it off with him? Would I be better off without him? Even when I try to support andd help him, like this weekend, he'd asked for me to come with, I get treated poorly.
There is no affection between us, no physical contact, no help with the baby.
What do I gain from his once weekly visit?
Not being utterly alone I guess, but I feel so lonley with him. What can I do?
Of course this wasn't possible, things got bad very quickly, and he stormed off, leaving me alone once again.
It had ben so stressful staying in Cheltnam, I'd had to look after Xes in an unfamilier place, it was hard work. I'd stayed with Xwife whilst he was at the hosptital all evening. He'd decided to go on the piss on the way home and come home drunk at 1am. Then it was a restless, sleepless night, and it was naturally me who had to get up with Xes at 7am, and try and keep him amused in the strange house, and wait and wait for Him to get up. And later at the hospital, I was sitting in the ward with Xwife and their son and He goes out to the van for some painkillers, but just doesn't return.
Eventually, I go to see what has happened, and he is sleeping in the van. Sleeping whilst Im caring for Xes in a hospital with his first family. I feel like I am being played for a fool.
Then the truely dreadful, torturous journey home, and now is a sunny bank holiday Monday and I am alone. Again. He switches his phone off, for another undisturbed nights sleep.
I'm so confused by this. Should I just call it off with him? Would I be better off without him? Even when I try to support andd help him, like this weekend, he'd asked for me to come with, I get treated poorly.
There is no affection between us, no physical contact, no help with the baby.
What do I gain from his once weekly visit?
Not being utterly alone I guess, but I feel so lonley with him. What can I do?
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