Tuesday, April 26, 2005
So part of the reason I'm so fucked up is that I have this massive and irrational fear of being alone. If I have a few days ahead of me with the prospect of no adult company, I start to panic.
Well the last few days it's just been me and T, and well actually, it's been really nice. On Sunday I made an effort to do something, so we went to Tate Modern, but it was horribly crowded and we left very quickly prefering to sit by the river and watch the boats going by. We had a sandwich in the Festival hall and were lucky enough to see the rehersals of some urban dance show they had on.
Yesterday I tried out this new toddler group at the library which T. got a real kick out of, and I felt him and me get even closer, if that is possible. I've been going to bed really early, which in turn helps me smile at 6am when T rolls over to say 'hi!'
I honestly dont know why, but for now at least, my dark mood has lifted.
It's like so much of 2005 has been troubled with illness or upset, perhaps it's time for a change. Time to let go properly of Hective, and develop even more of a take it or leave it attitude with Ts' dad.
Must be this time of year. I love the light, and if I'm very lucky and concentrate on my breathing, synchronicity, that sublime feeling of being 'in the flow' might well return.
Well the last few days it's just been me and T, and well actually, it's been really nice. On Sunday I made an effort to do something, so we went to Tate Modern, but it was horribly crowded and we left very quickly prefering to sit by the river and watch the boats going by. We had a sandwich in the Festival hall and were lucky enough to see the rehersals of some urban dance show they had on.
Yesterday I tried out this new toddler group at the library which T. got a real kick out of, and I felt him and me get even closer, if that is possible. I've been going to bed really early, which in turn helps me smile at 6am when T rolls over to say 'hi!'
I honestly dont know why, but for now at least, my dark mood has lifted.
It's like so much of 2005 has been troubled with illness or upset, perhaps it's time for a change. Time to let go properly of Hective, and develop even more of a take it or leave it attitude with Ts' dad.
Must be this time of year. I love the light, and if I'm very lucky and concentrate on my breathing, synchronicity, that sublime feeling of being 'in the flow' might well return.
Comments:
Post a Comment
