Friday, May 20, 2005
I had promised myself I'd stop moaning on here, but right now I feel pretty fucking unsupported, and I guess pretty angry about it. So aside from awaiting the test results, four to six weeks says the nurse, my operation is now only four days away. The other night I had a complete panic attack and decided that I definately wasn't going to go through with it. Still I am. I will. It'll be ok.
I'll be brand new. Restored, like an old photo.
Sometimes I feel like I need an arm around me though, someone to listen and tell me it'll be ok. T's dad can't be there for me in that way.
I'm finding it hard saving up for the holiday. Like cutting back on food, for a week in Butlins alone with the kids. Thats hard sometimes. Again, it'll be worth it. Happy memories and all. But another pretty lonley holiday for me instore.
Tomorrow is Graces' dancing show. Which is always one of the nicest days of the year.
I'll be brand new. Restored, like an old photo.
Sometimes I feel like I need an arm around me though, someone to listen and tell me it'll be ok. T's dad can't be there for me in that way.
I'm finding it hard saving up for the holiday. Like cutting back on food, for a week in Butlins alone with the kids. Thats hard sometimes. Again, it'll be worth it. Happy memories and all. But another pretty lonley holiday for me instore.
Tomorrow is Graces' dancing show. Which is always one of the nicest days of the year.
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