Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Things haven't been uneventful.
But I've just been too busy lurching between hope and despair trying to fill in the bloody PGCE application.
I'm sure I remember a time when writing came easily to me. Not now though, and I can't bear for them to reject me, but I can't seem to find the words to sell myself.
I'm feeling negative anyway because I photographed Rachel and Magdas' civil partnership on Saturday. They kept refering to me as the 'principle photographer', and there I was with my tiny new fuji...I should have borrowed Hectives' DSLR. I thought about it even, but didn't. I took about 600 shots, and they're about 12 really good ones. (if that) So I'm a bit gutted, because even after all these years, I still have the same problems, I just don't seem to improve at photography. I make the same mistakes over and over.
Now I'm trying to make up a load of stuff about pretend workshops I have organised...It's all bollocks, and I can't seem to make progress, and Friday is the day I have send it off. Even when I'm feeling more positiive, one glance at the relevant work experience section, will soon darken my mood, and don't even get me started on the education bit...
I mean, even if I somehow pulled off a brilliant personal statement, I've still got no A levels, and a silly degree.
I'll be glad when it's sent though, because either way what is done shall be done, and at least I can stop thinking about it.
I don't want to fail at everything though.
But I've just been too busy lurching between hope and despair trying to fill in the bloody PGCE application.
I'm sure I remember a time when writing came easily to me. Not now though, and I can't bear for them to reject me, but I can't seem to find the words to sell myself.
I'm feeling negative anyway because I photographed Rachel and Magdas' civil partnership on Saturday. They kept refering to me as the 'principle photographer', and there I was with my tiny new fuji...I should have borrowed Hectives' DSLR. I thought about it even, but didn't. I took about 600 shots, and they're about 12 really good ones. (if that) So I'm a bit gutted, because even after all these years, I still have the same problems, I just don't seem to improve at photography. I make the same mistakes over and over.
Now I'm trying to make up a load of stuff about pretend workshops I have organised...It's all bollocks, and I can't seem to make progress, and Friday is the day I have send it off. Even when I'm feeling more positiive, one glance at the relevant work experience section, will soon darken my mood, and don't even get me started on the education bit...
I mean, even if I somehow pulled off a brilliant personal statement, I've still got no A levels, and a silly degree.
I'll be glad when it's sent though, because either way what is done shall be done, and at least I can stop thinking about it.
I don't want to fail at everything though.
Comments:
Post a Comment
