I'm just going to have to trust you completely...

Muddy boots!!
There's one set of mates that I always come home from seeing, with muddy boots.
It has always been so, and I got a strong feeling after last weekend that it would always continue to be so...
And that makes me very happy.
I'm still smiling from the great weekend I spent in Hebdon. Everytime I catch sight of my muddy boots, I'm reminded of the incredible people I know and their connection with the land, not to mention their love of a good party...

algebraaaaa!!!!!!
My brain can't cope with this lastest thing, indroduced at lightning speed last night, at class. I 'm worried I won't catch up. When the teacher asked who had studied it before, I was the only one not to raise my hand.
How I wish I'd actually bothered to go to school...
If it wasn't bad enough having to teach myself the entire GCSE Science syllabus for the wretched equivalence test, at some as yet unspecified date, I am now faced with having to get to grips with algebra, undoubtedly the hardest thing I have yet encountered.
My Vee just spent a whole hour going through stuff with me, but I'm not getting it very fast.

Hmmm. The bbc just issued a severe weather warning for throughout middle England, and I due to make a rare trip out of London to Yorkshire for Potzos' 40th birthday party on Friday.
I'll be glad to have a break from the relentless pressure of study, or guilt that I should be studying, but I'm wondering if I'm mad to go in this weather.

Anyways fuck it.
And if you're coming here to read all about it, don't bother.
Any mention ever of *them* is now gone. I'll admit I was too hasty, and I'm thinking perhaps I ought to go over this blog with a fine toothcomb to seee if I've cause offence to anyone else with my occassional rants,...Or maybe I just should delete the bloody lot, I'm busy now after all, with things that are most uncontroversial.

nothing to read here......





.

Over the Christmas break, I finally came to the decision that I definately did not want to move. I've never been sure about it, and getting a place at LSBU just kind of sealed it for me, anyway I just rang Sophia to tell her, and now I feel a bit bad. She took it well, but I bet she's gutted, after me messing her about for so long.
I'm almost expecting her to ring back and give me an earful...
Don't even know why I've agonised over it so much, because there's not much about it that ever seemed to make sense beyond that balcony...
Jay was a huge factor, he was adament I should move and we had so many stupid rows about it, but winning my university place has also it seems, won me my freedom.
He just backed me up completely, to my amazment, and said that teaching would open many more doors for me, which of course is very true.
So I'm so sorry for mucking everyone around with my inability to make a decision, but I'm very happy to announce I shall be staying put in Brixton, for a good few more years yet.
As Ace and I walked to the market this morning, we said hello to so many people.
'Mum, you know everyone' she says...

I've been crying on and off all morning because I just don't want Christmas to be over. Silly old woman that I am.
Vee reliably informs me that it's not yet twelfth night.
My family has played so many games together, laughed so loudly, feasted so happily, and I know I'll always have the memories, but as I try to recall other Christmas', they're all a blur. memories don't stick.
I know, I should just concentrate on being thankful, and I am so very.
There's so much love in my life. I know these are the best years.